SESSION 10 – ACCEPTANCE, MAY, 2009
ADAPTED FROM Rev. Maj-Britt Johnson, Chapel Hill UU Church
Chalice:
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture .
Still treat each guest honorable,
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.
Rumi
Check in:
Reading: (From an interview with Tara Brach, PhD, author of the book, “Radical Acceptance”
“One of the reasons I was so drawn to writing about radical acceptance is because we spend so many moments at war, and we do it in the ways we judge ourselves, we do it in the ways we blame others, we do it in the ways we feel it’s our country against that country. There is so much division in this world.So what is really the path of healing? It can begin in this moment, by embracing the life that’s here. Because if we can begin to bring a sense of peace and care to the life inside us, naturally the circles widen to include other people. It’s the way of the heart – if we can be kind towards ourselves we’ll be kind towards others.The biggest fear we have is that somewhere, we are failing or are going to fail. You can almost say that our
personalities are in a large part a way of compensating for fear. We want to show to the world what would be acceptable and loveable. In doing so, we in some way, disconnect from the aliveness and authenticity of who we are.
When some people talk about accepting themselves they have this fear that they’re condoning some bad behavior, or that if they accept themselves, that means they’ll never improve. But the truth is, we’re not saying, “It’s OK you did that bad thing.” All we’re accepting is the actuality of our experience in the moment: “I’m accepting this shame is here, I’m accepting this fear is here, I’m accepting this anger, I’m accepting that there’s craving, I’m accepting the truth just now. But in the moment of accepting, we’re not condoning. We’re just acknowledging the truth of what’s here, with kindness. The reality is, if we can do that, it actually begins to free us so we can be in the next moment, and be a lot wiser.
“
Quotes from the Common Bowl: see attached
Life Questions:
1. How does non-acceptance cause you suffering?
- . Do you feel that one of the ways to address peace and understanding in the world is for each of us to individually practice accepting ourselves more?
- 3. Is it really necessary to embrace those parts of us that might be unlovable or difficult in order to experience “authenticity and aliveness?”
- 4. How do you distinguish between condoning and accepting in your own life?
Closing ritual:
May the light around us guide our footsteps, and hold us fast to the best and most righteous vision that we seek. May the darkness around us nurture our dreams , and give us rest so that we may give ourselves to the work of the world. Let us seek to remember the wholeness of our lives, the weaving of light and shadow in this great and astonishing dance in which we move.
Kathleen McTigue
Check-out:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
QUOTATIONS FOR LESSON 10, ACCEPTANCE, MAY, 2009
Deep down eve the most hardened criminal is starving for the same thing that motivates the innocent baby: Love and acceptance.
The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.
Goldie Hawn
Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.
Fulton Oursler
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just one you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.
As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able o decide what is best for you – the first time around.
Oprah Winfrey
I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight…I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there’s all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.
Arthur Gordon
Give love and unconditional acceptance to those you encounter, and notice what happens.
Wayne Dyer
My definition of success is total self acceptance. We can obtain all of the material possessions we desire quite easily, however, attempting to change our deepest thoughts and learning to love ourselves is a monumental challenge.
Arthur Gordon