GRATITUDE AND ACCEPTING GIFTS

From Small Group Ministry Network

November, 2008

Chalice:  “For in truth it is life that gives unto life – while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.  And you receivers – and you are all receivers- assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.  Rather, rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings.”

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Check-in

Reading:  Have you ever thought about how you receive gifts or compliments?  Are you prone to feeling embarrassed?  Unworthy?  Annoyed?  Obligated to reciprocate in kind?  There are several reasons why some of us react this way:  we don’t feel lovable, we suspect others’ motives, we were taught to be humble, or perhaps we were discouraged from “indulging” ourselves.  These and other reasons may be related to our upbringing, experiences, and personalities.

While difficulty accepting gifts is common, it’s not necessarily good for us or the giver.  Each of us benefits from feeling a sense of gratitude to others and to the universe as a whole, because it reinforces our common bonds.  And being unable to accept gifts denies others the much-needed opportunity to be gracious, generous, and helpful, often leaving them with feelings or rejection or unworthiness…”to the open-handed, the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.”  Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Quotes from the Common Bowl

Life Questions:

        1.  What gifts, material or otherwise, do you have difficulty accepting?

        2.  What is the most meaningful gift you have ever given? 

        3.  Why do you think it is difficult for us to accept compliments about ourselves? 

        4.  How does it feel when you give a compliment or a gift and the receiver is embarrassed or dismisses it?

        5.  How will these feelings come into play during the upcoming holidays?

        6.  Do you believe that the quote from William James is true for you   - that our deepest craving is the need to be appreciated?

Closing ritual:

We extinguish this flame but not the light of truth,

The warmth of community

Or the fire of commitment

These we carry in our hearts until we are together again.

QUOTATIONS FOR ACCEPTING GIFTS AND GRATITUDE SESSION

NOVEMBER, 2008

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

Eric Hoffer

Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.

Francois De La Rochefoucauld

One must know not just how to accept a gift, but with what grace to share it.

Maya Angelou

To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action.  Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course.  Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you.  Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude.

Albert Schweitzer

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.  Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.  Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.

Margaret Cousins

Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

Leroy (Satchel) Paige

The deepest craving in human nature is the need to be appreciated.

William James

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.

Buddha

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.

Cicero